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  4. The relationship PARENTS /ADOS

The relationship PARENTS /ADOS

“We wonder if we missed something in the education of our children. But we look at the stages of his childhood, we find nothing aberrant. She was robbed... loved (e) ... accompanied (e).. It is completely disconcerting, we no longer know what to hang up. Are all young people like that? »

The adult lives a period of significant change and transitions. He always needs the love, presence and support of his parents, even if he shows his attachment differently.
It is therefore necessary to relativize the “mares of this house!”, “it’s suck!”, “leave me!” and other remarks of the kind that teenagers drop in a moment of disappointment, ill-being or anger without really thinking it.
The ad(o)ulte will less and less show his affection towards parents, by childish attitudes like kisses, hugs, hand in the street, and it is NORMAL.

But he still wants to share good moments with his parents, brothers and sisters like going to see a movie, a family meal at an event, like a birthday.

He always has this need for his parents to be available, present and bring him stability in the face of the upheavals affecting his life.
This is opposed to the aspiration to the freedom that the teenager will develop. Freedom which, the teenager wishes, will take the form of pocket money, the acquisition of some autonomy, freedom of movement, ..

The ad(o)ulte is a stage of a challenging and enriching journey. All life, one must deal with reason and heart, with rules and desires.

It is important to dialogue with his ADOS, to confront opinions to better understand each other.

Even if they discuss with their friends, “as they are all in the same galery, talking between them does not always help them. In this context, teenagers are sometimes irritated when parents seek to dialogue. This is not a reason to refrain from it. »

We need to be able to speak and listen to each other for more understanding. In a way, the adult needs to feel sustained and so to let his parents know what he does and wants to do.

He also knows at the bottom of himself that, even if they bother him, the limits that his parents will lay on him are necessary. To move forward, the adult needs that his initiatives, desires, projects be supported, but not without requirements, by the adults around him.

They need to feel that their parents continue to wear them in their hearts, even when their patience is hardened.

The presence of parents is of great importance during this life phase, this search for its own identity that is the adult.
Even if it is not always easy, it must be said that any ad(o)ulte passes through a “crisis” of adolescence and that it is only a passavier one.

We manage things like we feel, trying to do for a better, without feeling guilty.

In addition to providing a stable framework for the changes that the teenager knows, parents are also a great support. Even this is not yet possible for them and for you, parents are the first people of reference.

They find with you: listening, attention and trust.

In the same category
  • First rules: How and when to talk to your ADO?
  • Parents face the sexuality of their ADOS
  • How do we deal with the drug problem, addiction to her teenager?
  • How to be ADO’s parent?
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