It is not easy for the parent to deal with him as sensitive as that of drug use.
Talking about drugs and addictions to his ADO, not simple, how to deal with the subject and what should not be done even less simple.
On the one hand, parents often experience problems related to drugs, and are concerned about the idea that their youngster might have serious problems. On the other hand, adolescents in search of emancipation are not always as receptive to the advice of their parents as they would like.
Parents make a difference. You are the most important model for your ADO and its best defence against drug use.
When you openly address the subject of drugs with your teenager, you can strengthen your relationship with him. When you build a strong relationship, communication will be easier.
When parents and teenagers disagree, they may get away. Although it may be difficult, it is very important that you keep the open channels.
Your teenager's point of view is very important
- Most adolescents have a good relationship with their parents. However, many teenagers believe that their parents are not always there when they need them.
- As teenagers grow up, they need to be able to say what they think. This may lead to conflicts and, during this period, you may believe that your teenager does not listen to you, even if in reality he listens to you.
- Remember that when your teenager answers you and defends his position, it doesn't mean he rejects you. In fact, it might be the opposite. By affirming its independence, your teenager builds a stronger and beneficial relationship with you.
- Many adolescents do not want to speak only of drugs; they would also want to address topics such as adulthood and puberty, school problems and their friends.
The main factors that can help your teenager make the right choices
- A strong connection with his family
- beneficial community participation
- Strong ties to school
- Religious and spiritual beliefs
- Social skills
- The presence of good friends
The main factors that can increase the risk of your child testing drugs
- Low self-esteem
- Use of drugs by friends
- Comrades' pressure
- Family conflicts
- Low school performance
- A lack of links to school
Help your teenager withstand drug use by:
- Stimulate at home confidence and intelligence
- Create a feeling of hope and optimism
- Ensure it grows in a safe environment and participates in extracurricular activities
- Make sure it has the community support it needs
When you talk about drugs with your teenager, here's what you need to keep in mind
- Think first. Then act. Try to stay clear and understand your ideas, and don't let your emotions take over. Keep your mind open.
- Keep an eye on your teenager's behavior. Ask him every day what he does and don't be afraid to impose limits on him, especially for the time he has to go home.
- Encourage your teenager to establish limits with you, but do not fear adopting a firm position when necessary.
- Don't worry about applying the limits you set. Let your teenager know that you impose limits because you care about him and only want what's best for him.
- Find ways to make sure your teenager believes what you're saying and trusts you.
- Talk often with your teenager. Many "mini-conversations" on drugs are better than long boring exposures.
- When you talk to your teenager, think about his point of view and respectfully listen to what he has to tell you.
- Make sure the conversation stays positive and dynamic instead of simply waiting for an opportunity to criticize your teenager's bad behaviour.
- Take advantage of the moments conducive to parent child discussion to discuss the topic of drug use with your teenager, for example in the car or during a meal, when you discuss a situation at school or a news event reported to the newsletter.
- Take the evening meal together as often as possible. A family dinner is a good opportunity to strengthen communication with your teenager.
- Help your teenager to acquire healthy reasoning skills and encourage conversations and open exchange of ideas and emotions.
- Avoid messages about the impact of drugs on sport performance, health and appearance. Such messages are more likely to be effective, as adolescents in this age group are more sensitive to comrade pressure, doubt and insecurity. Teenagers like to have the feeling that they belong to a group, that they resemble their friends and that they act like them.
- Have a real conversation with your teenager. Listen to him and respect his opinion. Give your teenager a reasonable amount of relevant information, avoiding becoming too emotional or dramatizing the situation, so that he feels that he has the power to make healthy choices over drugs.
Do not be alarmist: a discussion without judgment
First, who says drug use does not necessarily say abuse. Many adolescents will try the experience once or a few times, without consequences for their lives, behaviour or education. It is a rite of passage all that is more normal, such as first love, first sexual relationship or first contact with alcohol.
In addition, some young people will for some time maintain a recreational consumption that, despite a more or less sustained character, will not necessarily affect the other spheres of their lives.
It is essential not to dramatize these experiences; an excessive reaction might break the trust that exists between you and your child. However, for you to be able to understand it and help it as necessary, it is essential that you maintain a healthy dialogue with it.
ADOS is less focused on parent prevention messages INVITENT to dialogue and without judgment. This approach preserves the family relations and health of ADOS.
The role of parents is primarily a preventive role. We said, you may not be able to prevent your child from using drugs at some point or another. However, you may be able to help him delay the experience a bit.
However, studies have shown that adolescents who try drugs too early are more at risk of developing a consumer problem.
By establishing clear rules, limits, moderation, knowing that you don't know your child on occasion, having discussions with him equal to equal and learning them to set healthy limits in moderation. And not in excess.
Avoid moralization and tolerance Zero
When time comes to approach the subject of consumption, it does not serve to demonize it. And to practice a policy of TOLERANCE ZERO because it is useless and does not work to warn ADOS of the dangers of drugs and alcohol.
Studies show that when there is zero tolerance on the part of parents who simply say “no”, the teenager could not turn to a trusted adult if he had come to use drugs and a problem.
Even if zero tolerance is not recommended, it is nevertheless important to set and impose certain limits.
Parents are sometimes tempted to adopt a very moralizing discourse on drugs; they tell their child that it's wrong to take it, but without a good argument for that position.
It is better to have rational discussions with the young person, to explain to him that you understand that he can have an appeal for drugs, while presenting him the risks of consumption.
It is especially important that the teenager feels that in case of need, he can talk to you about his consumption without feeling judged. If you let him hear that trying the drug is a monstrously reprehensible act, it is unlikely that it will turn to you later.
If you think your teenager consumes, don't be too intrusive. That's the best way to get him out of you. For example, if you find drugs in your bag or room, it's better he doesn't know you've searched his stuff.
Stay tuned for signs of ill-being, try to talk with him, ask him questions, but don't throw her in the face the evidence you found. He might not trust you anymore.
Ask for help
Finally, if your child has signs of excessive consumption and is not receptive to your efforts to help, do not hesitate to ask for reinforcement. Sometimes the simple fact for the young person to have the opportunity to talk to a trusted adult who is not one of his parents can have surprising benefits.
For you, there are parent support groups and telephone lines where specialists will be able to answer your questions.
Drugs-info-service.fr: 7/7 from 8 a.m. to 2 a.m. Anonymous and free call- 0800 23 13 13